Australian Bush Poetry, Verse & Music

How Not To Prospect For Gold

Mick and John, with the help of a slab
Hatched a plan to make a fortune in gold
They'd heard there was heaps in Warrandyte
At least that's what they'd been told

So with Victoria Bitter clear thinking
They planned the work for the following day
How they would detect all over John's block
And remove the nuggets from where they lay

Early next morning with throbbing heads
A detector and tools were hired
Now armed with detector, rake, shovel and pick
And imagination by gold that was fired

It was only two minutes before the first beep
With mounting excitement they chased the sound
Three feet down and nothing at all
Just a great gaping hole in the ground

Regathering tools they proceeded on
Another ten feet and another hit
The excitement levels rose high again
Now this time has got to be it

But the performance was just repeated again
Another great hole in the ground
So they just stood there scratching their heads
There was no nugget here to be found

Another thirty times this happened at least
Of John's block this was about ten laps
When it finally dawned on our intrepid prospectors
That their Blundstone boots had steel caps

What a pair of mugs they'd been
Wearing steel capped boots if you please
So to fill in the holes they spent the next day
At the block by planting trees.

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