English is a funny language, especially as it’s writ.
I’ve read a book, or two, or three. I’m not illiterate.
But now and then I hear term that puzzles me, like this —
I heard a fellow use it once. Metamorphosis.

I never metamorphosis, at least one that I knew.
I might have metaphysics, as it was passing through.
I met a saddler in a bar. A neighbour down the street
But a living, breathing morphosis, I have yet to meet.

A mate of mine once told me that he’d metacylindrical,
I don’t what he said to him. Perhaps I never will.
I metallurgy once or twice and came out in a rash.
And then I metaplasm, but it vanished in a flash.

I’ve met against a time or two, and had a little chat,
But I’ve never, ever metaphor. Can you account for that?
Some people who I know quite well, have stated categorically,
That they, while busy speaking, metaphorically.

I met a spectral vision, and it frightened me to bits,
And then I metamucil, and it’s given me the shits.
But the morphosises I sought to find, continued to elude,
And then I metatarsus, and he was very rude.

All I did was ask him: “Have you metamorphosis?
Is it possible to meet one?” And he snapped at me: “Or course it is.
But you must be very careful, and never once be seen.
For everyone knows morphosises are few and far between.”

“Will I know one when I see one?” and the tarsus then replied:
“You might run into trouble, for it cannot be denied,
That these days, modern morphosises are masters of disguise,
And I never metamorphosis that I could recognise.”

What’s the plural form of morphosis? I cannot deny,
This poem would scan much better if it were morphisi.
But morphosises or morphisi, whichever one is right,
I got no way of knowing, »cos I ain’t that erudite.

I wish I’d never heard the word. It’s ruining my mind.
I never knew that morphosises, (or morphosi) would be that hard to find.
But if I should ever find one, then my life would be sheer bliss,
For I could shout it to the world

BLUE – the shearer (© Col Wilson)