Old Snagger

Old Snagger was an icon in the town
Been around since Noah had the ark
He plied his trade in the bush each day
Cutting fence posts from Ironbark

He’d leave in the early morning
To cut his quota out in the scrub
Returning just before nightfall
Then head for a drink down the pub

Now it came to pass that the council
Decided to dress up the town
To make it more modern for the residents
Pave roads and put footpaths down

And accordingly sent out the notices
Advising their expensive intent
With detailed costings and info
Of the cost to each resident

On returning from the bush that evening
Old Snagger collected his mail
And on reading the council letter
His face turned red and then pale

Three thousand dollars for all these works
And unnecessary from his point of view
His rage just deepened and simmered away
As he contemplated just what to do

A walk down the pub might just calm him
A few pots to restore his good cheer
But his rage just worsened on entering the pub
As he spotted the Shire Engineer

After obtaining a beer he headed over
And waving the letter in his face
Said “Where will I get three thousand dollars?
This whole thing’s a bloody disgrace”

“Now just settle down Snagger” he said
“Just think what this will do for the town
You’ll have a nice footpath to walk to the pub
Every night when you come down”

“I don’t want no bloody footpath
I like things just as they are”
And he continued to rave about the state of the town
As he downed his twentieth jar

But councils being what councils are
The works they just all went ahead
The letters went out demanding payment
And within thirty days they said

But Snagger was resolute in the matter
No way would he part with his cash
So he hatched an alternative plan of his own
To pay the council back

So several days later while enjoying a pot
He was approached by the Shire Engineer
Who wanted to speak to old Snagger
About a problem he wanted to clear

“It seems there has been some mistake” he said
“About some fence posts we’ve found at the yard
There’s no order on file at the council
Can you enlighten me in this regard?”

“Of course there’s no order,” said Snagger
“I thought that’s the way it was done.
See, I didn’t order no footpath,
So it’s payment in full old son”!

© Ric Raftis – May 2001